Definition Anxiety

So I am going to give this blog-thing a whirl.

The idea of having an online journal is attractive to me. Life is a many-splendoured thing. I tend to lose things quite easily, and this journal will give me an opportunity to record some of these things so that they might not be lost. Furthermore, it will be an avenue for me to make some (non)sense of my thoughts by comitting them to writing. I realize that I will primarily be writing for myself. However, if you are interested in my life or what I am thinking about at the moment... Tune in and feel free to respond.

At this point I can foresee two problems with writing an online journal. What if I end up offending someone who dislikes me and they read it and dislike me even more? Or what if I accidentally disclose other people's secrets? I suppose I will have to exercise some degree of discretion or I may lose all my friends (c.f. Homer Simpson from the Mr. X Episode of The Simpsons). Nonetheless, it is somewhat empowering to have your own avenue of "publishing" something. I have yet to be published in a respectable journal but I can publish 10 articles in a day in my own blog if I wanted to. "How many publications have you had in the past 3 years?" "5? Not bad...I have... 2,043." The idea of being the boss of your own journal is attractive to me.

The biggest hurdle so far has been coming up with a name for the thing. Pathetic, I know. It took me two and half hours and the best I could come up with was 'lowanhei.net'. For those who do not know me well-- that's my Chinese name transliterated into English. Not terribly original. It wasn't that I couldn't come up with any else... It's because I have this fear of being inaccurately defined. What if the name does not fully represent what I am? What if it gives the wrong idea? What if I change? It seems so irrevocable, so final. I have a similar problem with writing songs for the band I am in (KK). I have written many unfinished songs because I am afraid that to finish it would be to subject it to criticism. I even struggle with coming up with names for characters in video games(!), when I played video games. I feel like by giving something a name I am imbuing some of myself into to that thing and therefore it must accurately portray what I am about. Maybe I should see a psychologist about this...but until then, 'lowanhei.net' will have to suffice.

There are three reasons that prompted me to start this blog.
1. I just finished the comprehensive exam for my degree.
2. I just got a new digital camera.
3. Everyone else is doing it.