Bad Movies List

This is the top five list in the Worst-Movies-I-Actually-Paid-Money-To-See category in the last couple of years. These are not your regular "B" movies. These are movies void of anything that might resemble: acting talent, artistic merit, a good script, an engaging plot, meaning. The people who made these movies either don't have friends or have friends that don't like them enough to tell them that their movie sucks and should be cut into pieces and burned to ashes and put in an ugly box and punted off a bridge. Which brings me to an important point. Good friends will not only pat each other on the back but also speak up if their friend is overweight or steps in crap or has spinach in their teeth or is living a destructive life-style. If no one has ever told you that you are wrong or did something poorly it probably does not mean that you are perfect, but rather, you do not have many good friends. But back to the list. I'm sorry if a movie you like is on this list. I feel sorry for you.

They are (not in any particular order):
1. Matrix Revolution: Which of the Matrix movies is the worst? Now that is a big toss-up between M:Reloaded and M:Revolution. I decided to go with Revolution because the Warchowski brothers obviously did not learn from making movie number 2. These movies might do better as a TV series... A movie isn't doing what it's supopsed to if you find yourself not caring about the movie or its characteres but just waiting for the next stop-motion fight scene or the end credits, whatever comes sooner.

2. Underworld 2: Confusing, boring... Did I say boring? I can't say I was awake for much of this movie.

3. Van Helsing: Perhaps it was because I watched this late at night, but Kate Beckinsale's atrocious Hungarian accent and the movie's ridiculous plot made me want to give the friend who rented this movie a good shake.

4. The Hills Have Eyes: Killer mutants who talk with Southern US accents and have to use walkie-talkies to coordinate attacks lose their credibility as menacing villains.

5. The Brothers Grim: Who's the fairest of them all? Not this movie. A movie that cannot decide what genre it wants to be or what it will be about: Sleepy Hollow, Princess Bride, Ghostbusters, The French Revolution, Indiana Jones, Van Helsing. Throw all these together, and you get.... crap.